The slow burn

Please pardon my erratic posting while I, um, slowly crash and burn. Instead of having one big, nicely contained emotional meltdown I've been spacing it out, 20 minutes a day, whether I need it or not.

I'm almost looking forward to the next time I stub my toe, just so I can finally loose my shit once and for all. Get the thing over and done with so I can properly move on already. Things to do, places to go!

My cats know I'm a wreck. Bertie's been taking a break from his usual hell boy antics (like shredding this dress to bits) and acting shockingly lovable. Snuggling with me, letting me pet him and everything. He even brushed up against my leg for the first time ever this week.

This morning in bed, I remembered why I though getting a cats could possibly be a good idea to start with. Which in itself is worth the multiple miniature breakdowns.


  1. I too am doing a slow crash and burn. And I did stub my toe and except for a shrill like howl and then a death like moan, nothing - no tears no resolve. Just a bruised toe.

    I love love love your cat. He reminds me of Chloe who I lost in 2004, attitude and all.

    Gotta take care, kiddo- take care.

  2. Thank you! He's such a little fluff ball! (Although, I can't believe he shredded your flapper dress! Well...look at that face, I'm sure it wasn't him, something else much have snuck in!)
    the other Amy Elizabeth

  3. Bernie is a living doll. My cats make me smile every day. And the kittens- forgettaboutit

  4. ahh, my kitty has helped me through many hard times. somehow they just know... Bertie is a handsome boy!

  5. sounds like the ultimate jonah day...

  6. i can completely relate. it's funny how pets are so intuitive. hope your week is looking up, i just found your blog and look forward to catching up on it.

  7. I regularly use my cat as a tissue. She understands. That's what kitties are for . . . and just when you're feeling all better and proud again, they'll ignore you.

    Pet's ARE very intuitive. It's spooky, really.

  8. Holy crap, our cats really are twins! I was blinking stupidly at this post and wondering what Oliver was doing on your blog instead of mine.

    Hope things are getting better for you... or that, at least, Bertie is continuing his campaign of loooove.

  9. You can't say I haven't tried to push you over the edge. Nevertheless, I will persevere.

  10. I really feel you on this one.

    I need to stub my toe as well.

    Need a fresh start lol.

  11. what a sweetheart...i have Martha [roadside find] who shares my pillow
    and then another four [mostly rescues] about the house as well
    fine company
    and softer [less corners] in bed than dogs...

  12. so cats help with the crash-and-burn? perhaps i should get one as well.. :)

  13. I love when cats know you are upset! I fondly refer to my cats as Terror Kitties; my kitten specifically is Osama Bin Kitty. But when I'm feeling down they are cuddle-monsters. Love it.

  14. Sometimes I think it's because we hold it in that we have these slow burns. Try this one night when you have the time to devolve.

    Lay in bed, and just let the sadness and upset come. Whatever it is that you've been holding back and trying to fix and trying to ignore. Just let it come. No analysis, no telling yourself it's wrong, no trying to figure out where it came from or how to get rid of it. No impatience with your own hurt. Just let it come and know that it is yours and valid, and accept it for what it is. You won't lose it if you let it come. You are strong enough to handle it. Let it come, then let it go.

    And then see what happens the next day.

  15. Yeow and meow!

    Pets are God in fur.
    Tearing apart what you value,
    at the same time as adding value.

    Teasing, terrorizing, tempting, temper tempering.

    A real tale and a tail to tell it with.

  16. I'm singing...
    "Slow down, you move too fast, Gotta make the morning last. Just skipping down the cobble stones, look for fun and FEEL GROOVY!"

    (slight adaptation to the song!)

  17. Cats are the greatest. They always know when to step in and give love.

  18. My 50s era grandmother would recommend chamomile tea and some chocolate cookies, so I'll pass it on to you!

    I love how animals can pick up on our emotions, oftentimes better than other humans. Can't live without them.

  19. No, not your flapper dress!!! That makes me cry a little on the inside.
    Feel better soon. At least he's a beautiful cat and knows when to give you some peace. :)

  20. Usually when I'm ready to break down and can't I watch a movie I know will make me cry. The other it day it was Alfonso Cuaron's "A Little Princess". And tea...hope you feel better soon :)

  21. Hope you feel better soon! I love your blogs- they are so fun to read and your pictures are awesome:) I was wondering how on earth you get your pictures to download so clear...I'm having issues with this and am ready to give up! I've researched and researched...with NO luck- any advice? Mine are dowloading way too fuzzy- ughh!!

  22. Showers are the can cry in there and no one can hear you over the water. Plus, you're already wet. And the water washes away all traces of tears. I come out feeling spent, but ready to face things.

    Hope you feel better soon.

    And so do my 7 (all rescued strays) cats. =]

  23. Oh my gosh.
    My friend and I both constantly freak over our animals.
    I am always anxious to begin with, but now I may be even worse because I'm too worried that I'm going to kill him or something. And here my mom thought getting a cat would be a way to RELIEVE my stress. So much for that idea! Hope you feel better soon, dear!


  24. Slow Burn....
    I'm picturing how farmers have elective slow burning in their fields to renew their soil.
    May your slow burn be behind you and new growth begin.

    We miss you!

  25. Hello, Bertie! You are awfully cute. And you look a little like my cat, Rufus.